Produce & Botanical
42 catalogued entries
The vegetable kingdom does the least work for the most result. A gourd spends one summer doing nothing in particular and arrives at a mass no engineered object reaches without a budget and a permit. This is the largest section of the catalogue and it is not close, which the editors attribute less to editorial bias than to the simple fact that things which grow are under no obligation to stop.
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Jack-o'-Lantern
A field pumpkin of sufficient equatorial girth, carved into a seasonal effigy and illuminated from within; esp.
2026-10-23 -
Grapefruit
A citrus specimen of the species Citrus paradisi, notable for a rind that does not taper, apologize, or narrow at any point along its equatorial…
2026-10-18 -
Peach
A stone fruit of the species Prunus persica, notable for a cleft posterior that splits the specimen into two symmetrical lobes of approximately equal…
2026-10-16 -
Butternut Squash
A winter squash (Cucurbita moschata) of characteristically pear-shaped silhouette, wherein the lower bulb carries the structural ambition the neck…
2026-10-07 -
Bottle Gourd
A cucurbit vine fruit (Lagenaria siceraria) distinguished by a narrow neck and a dramatically swollen lower chamber, hung from trellises across the…
2026-10-06 -
Cantaloupe
A muskmelon (Cucumis melo var. cantalupensis) of conspicuous equatorial girth, characterized by a deeply ribbed, netted rind that segments the…
2026-09-27 -
Barrel Cactus
A ribbed, globe-shaped desert cactus of the genera Ferocactus and Echinocactus, low to the ground and swollen with stored water.
2026-09-25 -
Jackfruit
A tropical fruit of real heft, often exceeding 20 kilograms, characterized by a robust, knobby exterior and an interior teeming with bulbous, fibrous…
2026-09-24 -
Coconut
The fruit of Cocos nucifera, a tropical palm, characterized by a fibrous husk of real circumference, a dense lignified shell, and a liquid interior…
2026-09-22 -
Kabocha
A Japanese winter squash of the species Cucurbita maxima, characterized by a squat, deeply ridged silhouette, a skin the color of a forest at dusk…
2026-09-21 -
Fig
The pear-shaped fruit of the tree Ficus carica, narrow at the stem and swelling to a soft, round bottom, packed with hundreds of tiny seeds.
2026-09-19 -
Plum
A stone fruit of noteworthy rotundity, often exhibiting a curvature that suggests it was sculpted by a particularly indulgent orchardist.
2026-09-17 -
Honeycrisp Apple
A cultivar of apple known for its robust sweetness and satisfying crunch; particularly noteworthy when its form exceeds typical expectations…
2026-08-30 -
Rutabaga
A bulbous root vegetable prized for its substantial undercarriage and earthy flavor, reliably found in the produce aisle carrying more girth than the…
2026-08-26 -
Persimmon
A fruit of the genus Diospyros, notable for its smooth, taut skin stretched over a body that has committed fully to the round; esp.
2026-08-23 -
Papaya
A large tropical fruit of the species Carica papaya, characterized by a pendulous, bottom-heavy silhouette that narrows at the stem end and broadens…
2026-08-22 -
Quince
A pome fruit of the species Cydonia oblonga, notable for its stubborn refusal to ripen into anything graceful: lumpen, asymmetric, and built with a…
2026-08-20 -
Savoy Cabbage
A cultivar of Brassica oleracea distinguished from its flat-leafed cousins by deeply crinkled, corrugated outer leaves that ruffle outward in dense…
2026-08-17 -
Artichoke
A cultivated thistle (Cynara cardunculus var. scolymus) of Mediterranean origin, prized for its edible flower head; specifically, a specimen whose…
2026-08-16 -
Bell Pepper
A hollow, lobed fruit of Capsicum annuum, characterized by a pronounced equatorial swell, a four-chambered interior of structural ambition, and a…
2026-08-15 -
Pineapple
A tropical bromeliad fruit (Ananas comosus) of pronounced structural ambition: broad at the base, armored in interlocking plates, and crowned with a…
2026-08-05 -
Mangosteen
A tropical fruit (Garcinia mangostana) native to Southeast Asia, distinguished by a deep burgundy-purple rind of architectural thickness and a squat…
2026-07-29 -
Ataulfo Mango
A small-statured mango cultivar of Mexican origin that compensates for its modest length with a posterior curvature so pronounced it reads as…
2026-07-24 -
Honeydew Melon
A cultivar of Cucumis melo of the inodorus group, characterized by a smooth, pale ivory rind and a dense, cream-colored flesh packed into a…
2026-07-17 -
Kohlrabi
A cultivated brassica (Brassica oleracea var. gongylodes) whose edible stem swells into a dense, spherical globe at soil level, sending up leaf…
2026-07-14 -
Sweet Potato
A tuber of generous stature, frequently found in grocery aisles, whose girth suggests it has never once considered fitting into a standard produce…
2026-07-04 -
Field Pumpkin
A species of squash characterized by its full-bodied rotundity and deep, saturated coloring, often found taking up more than its fair share of the…
2026-07-02 -
Heritage Tomato
Any tomato variety of pre-industrial lineage, open-pollinated and stubbornly unreformed, whose silhouette owes nothing to the requirements of a…
2026-06-27 -
African Baobab
A long-lived African tree (Adansonia digitata) with an immense, swollen trunk that stores water, and short, root-like branches.
2026-06-23 -
Pomegranate
A fruit of the species Punica granatum, roughly spherical and leather-skinned, whose equator tells one story and whose crown tells a completely…
2026-06-01 -
Pear
A fruit of exceptional curvature, particularly noted for its broad base tapering to a delicate stem; frequently observed in suburban orchards and…
2026-05-31 -
Dahlia Flower
A flowering plant known for its flamboyant, multi-layered blossoms that command visual attention; especially noted for its lush, spherical presence…
2026-05-28 -
Cherimoya
A tropical fruit of real heft, characterized by its rounded, lumpen contour and a skin tiled in bold, scale-like segments that do not apologize for…
2026-05-27 -
Pine Cone
The seed-bearing structure of a conifer, composed of overlapping woody scales arranged in a tight spiral, each one wider than it has any business…
2026-05-21 -
Giant Puffball Mushroom
A fungus of the genus Calvatia, producing a spherical fruiting body of pale white that can exceed 30 cm in diameter and several kilograms in weight…
2026-05-11 -
Watermelon
A cucurbit fruit of the species Citrullus lanatus, notable for a rind-to-flesh ratio that strongly favors the flesh, and a silhouette, viewed in…
2026-05-05 -
Cavendish Banana
The dominant commercial banana cultivar (Musa acuminata, AAA group), characterized by a pronounced basal swell, a taper that takes its time getting…
2026-05-03 -
Hass Avocado
A pear-shaped fruit (Persea americana) whose mass pools decisively toward the lower half, as though it made a choice and committed.
2026-04-30 -
Atlantic Giant Pumpkin
A cultivar of Cucurbita maxima bred specifically for competitive weight, achieving masses routinely exceeding 900 kg in championship specimens…
2026-04-26 -
Garlic Bulb
A bulb of the species Allium sativum that has achieved full structural commitment: cloves packed so densely inward that the papery outer skin strains…
2026-04-19 -
Soursop
A tropical fruit (Annona muricata) native to the Caribbean and Central America, characterized by a thick, spike-studded green exterior encasing a…
2026-04-14 -
Round Hay Bale
A cylindrical compression of dried grasses, rolled to a diameter typically between four and six feet and weighing upward of 800 lbs, produced by a…
2026-04-12