Vol. I  ·  Iss. 040  ·  Friday, May 30, 2026 Est. MMXXVI  ·  A Daily Reference

The Thiccctionary

n.  the editorial reference library

← About

Reference Documents

The documents the Senior Cataloguer cites in his correspondence.

The publication maintains its operational records on principle. Most are filed in the green cabinet, third drawer. The following have been transcribed for external reference.

The Style Guide

First Edition 1978 · Last Revision 2014 · Senior Cataloguer

The operational reference for matters of girth, submission, and editorial review. Six sections, plus a preamble and appendix of notable precedents.

↓ PDF · 33 KB

The Personnel File

Ongoing · Maintained by Constance Pribyl, Director of Editorial Operations

A selected log of grievances filed by the Senior Cataloguer with the Director of Editorial Operations. Includes the Director's responses, where rendered, and the disposition. Seven entries currently transcribed: the coffee machine, the Saturn V refile, the office ficus, and four others. The remainder is retained in the green cabinet, top drawer, under "P."

↓ PDF · 31 KB

The Founding Charter

1974 · Bertram Whitmore, Publisher

The original prospectus, drafted by the founder aboard the Margaret IV in the spring of 1974. The publication's stated remit, then and now.

↓ PDF

Memo 1986-04: The Liebherr T 282B Entry

1986 · Senior Cataloguer

A brief on the entry the Senior Cataloguer considers the publication's high-water mark. Includes the original measurements, source notes, and the editorial reasoning.

↓ PDF

Amendment 1991-08: Adoption of the Silhouette Test

August 1991 · Senior Cataloguer · Editor-in-Chief Approving

The adoption memorandum for § II.2 of the Style Guide. Cites the Toaster vs. Toaster-Oven dispute of June 1991 as the proximate cause. The junior cataloguer resigned the following week.

↓ PDF

Methodology Memo: On the Digital Era

November 1999 · Senior Cataloguer

A position paper on the publication's continued operation following the proliferation of electronic submission. Proposes a twenty-five-year moratorium on submissions in any format other than printed photograph or pen-and-ink. The Editor-in-Chief filed the memo.

↓ PDF

The Atlantic Giant Decision

March 2009 · Editor-in-Chief · Precedent 2009-03

The editorial decision establishing that cultivated and selectively bred subjects (specifically: the Atlantic Giant pumpkin) are eligible for catalogue inclusion under § II.4. Cited in subsequent disputes regarding agricultural produce.

↓ PDF

The Submissions Freeze Proposal

2014 · Senior Cataloguer · Filed, Not Adopted

The proposal, drafted in September 2014, that the publication cease accepting external submissions. The Editor-in-Chief filed the proposal. The Senior Cataloguer occasionally references it.

↓ PDF

Standing Order on External Bodies

Last Revised 2024 · Senior Cataloguer

The publication's policy on regulatory bodies, trade authorities, and other external organizations that apply criteria adjacent to girth. Issued in response to a 1997 directive from the EU. Reaffirmed periodically.

↓ PDF

ADDITIONAL DOCUMENTS WILL BE TRANSCRIBED AS THE GREEN CABINET PERMITS