Reference Documents
The documents the Senior Cataloguer cites in his correspondence.
The publication maintains its operational records on principle. Most are filed in the green cabinet, third drawer. The following have been transcribed for external reference.
The Style Guide
The operational reference for matters of girth, submission, and editorial review. Six sections, plus a preamble and appendix of notable precedents.
↓ PDF · 33 KBThe Personnel File
A selected log of grievances filed by the Senior Cataloguer with the Director of Editorial Operations. Includes the Director's responses, where rendered, and the disposition. Eighteen entries currently transcribed: the coffee machine, the Saturn V refile, the office ficus, the tenure-anniversary notification, and fourteen others. The remainder is retained in the green cabinet, top drawer, under "P."
↓ PDF · 31 KBRole-Scope Alignment Minutes
Minutes of the eleven role-scope alignment meetings convened with the Circulation Manager since 2004. Cumulative meeting time across twenty-two years: sixty-one minutes. Includes the withdrawn position-description revision of 2018, the flood commendation of 2019 (unaccepted), and the Form 12-B question (in progress since 2004). Kept separately from the Personnel File, at the request of both subjects.
Position Description: Circulation Manager
The document produced at each role-scope alignment meeting. Eleven duties: ten concern newsstand returns; Section 11, added in 1978, concerns the maintenance of delivery animals and specifies no ceiling on fitness. Transcribed from the carbon in the green cabinet. The Circulation Manager holds the only clean copy.
Form 12-B: Supplementary Personnel Record (Surname)
The form that would collect the Circulation Manager's surname. Reproduces the 2004 issuance, the only copy ever returned, blank except the given name and a margin annotation, with the full record of issuance (certified envelope, 2010; horseshoe, 2012; URGENT, 2018). Surname: in progress since 2004.
Commendation 2019-03
Issued to the Circulation Manager for the singlehanded preservation of the 1974–1989 archive during the June flood, an action taken under Section 7 of his position description on the grounds that the archive "was not distributed, and was in transit." The acceptance line remains blank. Acceptance is not among the recipient's duties to file.
Workplace Concern Form 2026-07
The first and only completed Workplace Concern Form in the publication's records. Concerns the Circulation Manager, alleged meme harvesting during work hours, and the daily printed memes arriving by interoffice envelope. The filer concedes the memes are consistently excellent, which is part of the concern. The memes continue.
The Founding Charter
The original prospectus, drafted by the founder aboard the Margaret IV in the spring of 1974. The publication's stated remit, then and now.
↓ PDFMemo 1986-04: The Liebherr T 282B Entry
A brief on the entry the Senior Cataloguer considers the publication's high-water mark. Includes the original measurements, source notes, and the editorial reasoning.
↓ PDFAmendment 1991-08: Adoption of the Silhouette Test
The adoption memorandum for § II.2 of the Style Guide. Cites the Toaster vs. Toaster-Oven dispute of June 1991 as the proximate cause. The junior cataloguer resigned the following week.
↓ PDFMethodology Memo: On the Digital Era
A position paper on the publication's continued operation following the proliferation of electronic submission. Proposes a twenty-five-year moratorium on submissions in any format other than printed photograph or pen-and-ink. The Editor-in-Chief filed the memo.
↓ PDFThe Atlantic Giant Decision
The editorial decision establishing that cultivated and selectively bred subjects (specifically: the Atlantic Giant pumpkin) are eligible for catalogue inclusion under § II.4. Cited in subsequent disputes regarding agricultural produce.
↓ PDFThe Submissions Freeze Proposal
The proposal, drafted in September 2014, that the publication cease accepting external submissions. The Editor-in-Chief filed the proposal. The Senior Cataloguer occasionally references it.
↓ PDFStanding Order on External Bodies
The publication's policy on regulatory bodies, trade authorities, and other external organizations that apply criteria adjacent to girth. Issued in response to a 1997 directive from the EU. Reaffirmed periodically.
↓ PDFADDITIONAL DOCUMENTS WILL BE TRANSCRIBED AS THE GREEN CABINET PERMITS