Essays, rankings, and analysis from the Thiccctionary editorial desk. New entries land in the archive, daily.
Monday, June 29, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Spider Hennessy on the Pioneering Spirit, Allseas' twin-hulled heavy-lift vessel and the world's largest ship by gross tonnage (403,342 GT), 382 m long and 123.75 m wide, the heaviest vehicle ever built, whose split hull carries an open slot it uses to straddle and lift entire offshore platforms in one piece. Ruling: Thiccc, and the cleanest case of girth-with-intention the desk has filed.
Sunday, June 28, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Eli Hartwell on "Muggle," the heaviest pumpkin ever recorded, grown by twin brothers Ian and Stuart Paton of the UK and weighed at 1,278.8 kg (2,819 lb 4 oz) at the Wargrave Nursery Giant Vegetable Weigh-off on 6 October 2025, the same specimen that also holds the Guinness World Record for largest pumpkin by circumference at 649.8 cm (21 ft 3.8 in) of stem-to-blossom girth. Ruling: Thiccc, and entered as the far end of the ruler.
Saturday, June 27, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Theodore Vance on "Big Bertha," the largest rideable penny-farthing ever built, unveiled at the City of London Nocturne on 13 June 2026, 282 cm tall to the handlebars with a 254 cm (100 in) front wheel, built by Dan Bolwell of Australia and ridden 100 m by Neil Laughton of the UK Penny Farthing Club. Ruling: Not Thiccc, and enshrined for precisely that reason.
Friday, June 26, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Margaret Whitmore-Hessian on the Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing over the 101 freeway near Agoura Hills, the world's largest wildlife crossing, roughly 200 feet long and 165 feet wide, ~$114M, opening this fall 2026. Ruling: Thiccc, and ruled so from the top.
Wednesday, June 24, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Bartholomew Whitmore on the Dynapac CC7000 VI, debuted at CONEXPO-CON/AGG 2026 as the world's heaviest asphalt roller, ~15 tonnes operating weight, 1,400 mm drum. Ruling: Thiccc, on the drum and the drum alone.
Wednesday, June 24, 2026
Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 5.
Tuesday, June 23, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Hugh Drumm on Patyegarang, the largest tunnel boring machine in the southern hemisphere, 15.7 metres in diameter, 4,350 tonnes, assembled entirely underground and breaking ground under Sydney Harbour in June 2026 on the Western Harbour Tunnel project. Ruling: Thiccc.
Sunday, June 21, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Bertram Whitmore on The Freedom Ship, a proposed mile-long floating city of 2.3 million tons for ~80,000 people, conceived in the late 1990s by Norman Nixon and never built; revived in the press the first week of June 2026. Ruling: Not Thiccc.
Saturday, June 20, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Eli Hartwell on The Double Gloucester wheel of the Coopers Hill Cheese-Rolling, run on the late-May bank holiday 2026 near Brockworth, Gloucestershire, a single round of cheese sent down a near-vertical hill and chased by a crowd that never catches it. Ruling: Thiccc.
Wednesday, June 17, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Constance Pribyl on The Afuera, the annual whale shark aggregation off Isla Mujeres, Mexico, where the world's largest fish gather by the hundreds; the 2026 season opened June 15. Ruling: Thiccc.
Wednesday, June 17, 2026
Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 4.
Monday, June 15, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Hugh Drumm on SpaceX Starship Version 3, the biggest and most powerful rocket yet flown, on its 12th test flight. Ruling: Thiccc.
Monday, June 15, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Bartholomew Whitmore on Estadio Azteca, the only stadium to host three men's World Cups (1970, 1986, 2026). Ruling: Thiccc.
Monday, June 15, 2026
Bertram Whitmore, Publisher, writes from the Margaret IV. Vol. 2.
Sunday, June 14, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Bertram Whitmore on Legend of the Seas (Royal Caribbean, third Icon-class megaship). Ruling: Thiccc.
Saturday, June 13, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Spider Hennessy on The FIFA World Cup trophy vs. the Adidas Trionda match ball, 2026 World Cup. Ruling: Thiccc (the trophy); Not Thiccc (the ball).
Thursday, June 11, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Theodore Vance on Massport's 45-foot soccer ball, East Boston (record attempt vs 38 ft 11.8 in, Doha 2013). Ruling: Thiccc (pending senior review).
Wednesday, June 10, 2026
Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 3.
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Spider Hennessy on Fat Bear Week 2025 champion, Bear 32 "Chunk", Katmai National Park. Ruling: Thiccc.
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Bertram Whitmore on Star of the Seas (Royal Caribbean, Icon-class). Ruling: Thiccc.
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
The Thiccc Beat: Bartholomew Whitmore on 2,819 lb world-record pumpkin (Paton brothers, UK) + 2,346 lb US champion (Brandon Dawson). Ruling: Thiccc.
Wednesday, June 3, 2026
Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 2.
Saturday, May 30, 2026
Bertram Whitmore, Publisher, writes from the Margaret IV. Vol. 1.
Saturday, May 30, 2026
Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 1.
Saturday, May 16, 2026
The Thiccctionary editorial board argues that the highest order of thicccness is not decorative but load-bearing, girth as the engine of purpose itself.
Sunday, May 10, 2026
Square-cube law, structural necessity, and the engineering logic behind why truly large objects look the way they do. A field guide to the geometry of girth.
Sunday, May 10, 2026
At 96 metres tall and 220 metres long, the Bagger 288 is the largest land vehicle ever built. A field report on what it means to be truly, structurally, irreversibly thiccc.
Sunday, May 10, 2026
From Parmigiano wheels to heritage tomatoes to Atlantic Giant pumpkins, when food's structural commitment becomes its identity.
Tuesday, May 5, 2026
Five parts worth knowing: wheelbase, aft, dually, cargo bay, kin. A field guide to the parts of a thiccc vehicle.
Tuesday, May 5, 2026
The material behind cement mixers, Brutalism, and Hoover Dam. Why concrete forces thicccness on everything it builds.
Monday, May 4, 2026
Fire hydrants, mailboxes, bollards, dumpsters, HVAC, the unsung architecture of a sidewalk.
Monday, May 4, 2026
Defense, ideology, and mass housing. Three programs, one silhouette. Castle walls, Brutalism, Khrushchyovka.
Monday, May 4, 2026
Why physics insists on the silhouette. Bagger 288, Saturn V, supertankers, Hoover Dam.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
An argument, with engineering. The mixer is not in competition. It is the standard.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Three tests. No instruments required. Silhouette, ratio, character.
Saturday, May 2, 2026
A working ranking. Heritage tomatoes to wide-body airliners. A hierarchy of girth.
Saturday, May 2, 2026
The standing reference for what we’ll catalog and what we won’t. Includes the submission test.
Saturday, May 2, 2026
From early-2000s message boards to mainstream dictionaries. With sources.
New articles when they drop. Daily entries too.