The Thiccctionary

People keep asking. Some are browsing the archive and want to know why one entry made the cut and another didn't. Some are submitting suggestions and want to know what we'll accept. Some have noticed our submission form filters out roughly half of what gets sent in.

Here's the editorial guide. It is not exhaustive. It will get amended.

The first rule: things, not people

This is the only rule that is absolute. Thiccctionary documents inanimate objects, vehicles, fruits, appliances, and similar entities of unusual girth. We do not, will not, and have not described any human being as thiccc on this site. Not as a joke. Not as homage. Not even as compliment.

The whole site is a redirect: it takes a category of language people often misuse against women and points it at refrigerators and Boeings. If you submit a person, the submission gets discarded.

The second rule: visible girth

The thiccc-ness must be apparent in a photograph. If a reasonable person looking at the entry's image asks "wait, why is this one thiccc?", the entry hasn't earned its slot. Thiccc Boeing is unmistakable in a tail-three-quarter shot. Ford F-450's dually rear axle is part of the rear-end silhouette. Heritage tomato needs only a hand for scale.

Things that look thin in photos but are dense or heavy in person, solid steel ingots, lead bricks, dense gravity wells, don't qualify. Density without visible volume isn't thiccc. It's just heavy.

The third rule: charitable comedy

The joke punches at the language, not at the object. We don't roast cement trucks for being lumbering. We celebrate them for it. Every entry should read like an enthusiast's dictionary, not a comedian's roast. Read the etymology section of any entry, that's where the warmth lives. The joke is the dignity, applied earnestly to a wide tomato.

What gets in

• Vehicles with character (vintage trucks, wide-body airliners, restored campers, certain motorcycles)
• Single notable specimens of produce (heritage tomatoes, watermelons, certain pumpkins, large avocados)
• Industrial equipment (cement mixers, forklifts, harvesters, loaders)
• Furniture with intentional girth (Eames chairs, midcentury sofas, Tulip tables, certain ottomans)
• Appliances that take both hands (refrigerators, deep freezers, certain washers)
• Buildings, occasionally, when the building's volume is the point (water towers, grain silos, dome stadiums)

What doesn't

• Anything depicting a human, real or implied
• Animals, even very round ones (separate site, separate brand)
• Cartoon characters or illustrated subjects (we work in photographs)
• Generic stock objects without character (a generic sedan, a generic apple)
• Entries that exist only to make a sex joke (the brand is the dictionary, not the punchline)

The submission test

If you're submitting an entry via the form, ask yourself three things:

1. Is this a real, photographable object?
2. Is the thiccc-ness visible to someone who has never heard the word?
3. Is the joke about the object, or about a person we're using the object to reference?

Three yeses and you're in the running. Send it.

Closing note

This guide may seem long for a satirical dictionary. It's intentional. The entries are short and the brand is silly precisely because the editorial line is firm. The two are connected.

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