Thiccctionary, A Daily Reference for Thiccc Things

Entry of the Day

Plate N. The steam locomotive boiler, viewed from the rear, defies casual description, its girth a monument to industrial prowess.

Photo by Olle August on Unsplash

Boiler, Steam Locomotive

/BOY-lur, STEEM loh-kuh-MOH-tiv/ n.

1. A large cylindrical vessel designed to generate steam for the propulsion of a locomotive, notable for its substantial thermal expansion and formidable girth.
2. colloq. The quintessential powerhouse of rail heritage, flaunting a level of rotundity that dares lesser machinery to even stand close.

In a sentence,

He marveled at the thiccc steam locomotive boiler, its generous diameter casting shade on the entire platform.

Etymology,

From Latin boilire (to bubble or boil) + Latin locomotivus (causing motion), which once suggested elegance in motion. Nowadays, it suggests a certain unapologetic bulk.

industrial vehicle

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From the Art Desk

Single-panel newspaper cartoons. Iconic-mass subjects, drawn dry.

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Filed With HR · Grievance No. 31

Re: The Coffee Machine.

The coffee machine has been inoperative since March. The undersigned has filed three prior objections regarding the same. The undersigned does not require coffee but maintains that a publication that cannot brew coffee cannot reasonably claim to be in continuous operation. Recommend replacement.

The Senior Cataloguer

Hi Bart! I love that you raised this. I have added a Q3 review of the coffee machine to my parking lot and will circle back once we have alignment from the broader team. Let me know if you need anything else!

Constance Pribyl

Status: Parking Lot · Since 2018

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A Daily Dose of Thiccc, Delivered.

From the Editorial Desk

Long-form essays, rankings, and analysis. New entries land in the archive; deeper takes go here.

The Heaviest Pumpkin on Earth Also Holds the World Record for Girth

The Thiccc Beat: Eli Hartwell on "Muggle," the heaviest pumpkin ever recorded, grown by twin brothers Ian and Stuart Paton of the UK and weighed at 1,278.8 kg (2,819 lb 4 oz) at the Wargrave Nursery Giant Vegetable Weigh-off on 6 October 2025, the same specimen that also holds the Guinness World Record for largest pumpkin by circumference at 649.8 cm (21 ft 3.8 in) of stem-to-blossom girth. Ruling: Thiccc, and entered as the far end of the ruler.

The Largest Bicycle Ever Built Is Also, One Regrets to Report, the Least Thiccc Object We Have Ever Measured

The Thiccc Beat: Theodore Vance on "Big Bertha," the largest rideable penny-farthing ever built, unveiled at the City of London Nocturne on 13 June 2026, 282 cm tall to the handlebars with a 254 cm (100 in) front wheel, built by Dan Bolwell of Australia and ridden 100 m by Neil Laughton of the UK Penny Farthing Club. Ruling: Not Thiccc, and enshrined for precisely that reason.

They Built a Bridge as Wide as It Is Long, and the Animals Will Never Know

The Thiccc Beat: Margaret Whitmore-Hessian on the Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing over the 101 freeway near Agoura Hills, the world's largest wildlife crossing, roughly 200 feet long and 165 feet wide, ~$114M, opening this fall 2026. Ruling: Thiccc, and ruled so from the top.

Heavy Is Not Thiccc. The Drum, However, Is.

The Thiccc Beat: Bartholomew Whitmore on the Dynapac CC7000 VI, debuted at CONEXPO-CON/AGG 2026 as the world's heaviest asphalt roller, ~15 tonnes operating weight, 1,400 mm drum. Ruling: Thiccc, on the drum and the drum alone.

Filed Replies, Vol. 5

Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 5.

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A Note from the Editors

This publication catalogues thiccc things. The word is the internet's. It uses thiccc, alongside built different and built like a brick wall, to describe human bodies. We have confiscated the vocabulary and applied it, with the full apparatus of a reference work, to everything that is not a body: aircraft, championship fruit, freight vehicles, cathedral bells, the occasional bridge abutment.

There is one rule, and it is older than most of the staff. No bodies. No people. Every photograph is of a thing. The Founding Charter put it in writing in 1974, and the Editor-in-Chief has filed every proposal to reopen the question since.

The board is six people and seldom in one room. The Editor-in-Chief is in Monaco. The Senior Cataloguer is drafting an objection. The Field Correspondent is, as far as anyone here knows, in a foundry. The catalogue advances regardless, one entry at a time.

If we have done the work, you will laugh once, read three more entries, and then, weeks from now, in a Costco parking lot, watching a Ford F-450 dually negotiate a U-turn, call what you are seeing thiccc, and not be entirely sure why. It is the only review this board has ever cared about.

For the word itself, its definition, etymology, and the reasoning behind the third c, see thiccc, adj.

Bertram Whitmore, Publisher, writing from the Margaret IV. Thiccctionary, Vol. I.