Vol. I  ·  Iss. 135  ·  Thursday, August 27, 2026 Est. MMXXVI  ·  A Daily Reference

The Thiccctionary

n.  a comprehensive lexicon of objects, vehicles, and entities of unusual girth  ·  updated daily, mostly

Entry of the Day
Fjord, Thiccc Glacial

Plate CXXXV., The southeastern coast of Greenland, where thiccc glacial fjords carve their presence into the landscape.

Photo by USGS on Unsplash

/fjord, THIK-glay-shul/  n.
In a sentence,
Etymology,

Recently Catalogued

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From the Art Desk

Single-panel newspaper cartoons. Iconic-mass subjects, drawn dry.

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The verdict ledger

Is it thiccc? Every official ruling, alphabetised, with citation-ready URLs.

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Filed With HR · Grievance No. 31

Re: The Coffee Machine.

The coffee machine has been inoperative since March. The undersigned has filed three prior objections regarding the same. The undersigned does not require coffee but maintains that a publication that cannot brew coffee cannot reasonably claim to be in continuous operation. Recommend replacement.

The Senior Cataloguer

Hi Bart! I love that you raised this. I have added a Q3 review of the coffee machine to my parking lot and will circle back once we have alignment from the broader team. Let me know if you need anything else!

Constance Pribyl

Status: Parking Lot · Since 2018

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From the Editorial Desk

Long-form essays, rankings, and analysis. New entries land in the archive; deeper takes go here.

Filed Replies, Vol. 13

Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 13.

A Comet From Outside Our Solar System Was Measured Three Times. This Desk Only Trusts the Last One.

The Thiccc Beat: Bartholomew "Bart" Pruss on the interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS, the third confirmed visitor from outside our solar system, whose nucleus was initially reported at roughly 7 miles wide before the Vera C. Rubin Observatory's July 2026 review revised the figure down to approximately 3.5 miles (5.6 km) across, while the surrounding coma of gas, ice, and dust swelled to spans exceeding 15 miles. Ruling: Split ruling. The nucleus, Not Thiccc, a modest, ordinary 3.5 miles, unremarkable by catalogue standards. The coma, Thiccc, and decisively so..

From the Boat, Issue 6

Bertram Whitmore, Publisher, writes from the Margaret IV. Vol. 6.

Filed Replies, Vol. 12

Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 12.

Filed Replies, Vol. 11

Bartholomew Whitmore, Senior Cataloguer, replies to a handful of letters. Vol. 11.

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A Note from the Editors

This publication catalogues thiccc things. The word is the internet's. It uses thiccc, alongside built different and built like a brick wall, to describe human bodies. We have confiscated the vocabulary and applied it, with the full apparatus of a reference work, to everything that is not a body: aircraft, championship fruit, freight vehicles, cathedral bells, the occasional bridge abutment.

There is one rule, and it is older than most of the staff. No bodies. No people. Every photograph is of a thing. The Founding Charter put it in writing in 1974, and the Editor-in-Chief has filed every proposal to reopen the question since.

The board is six people and seldom in one room. The Editor-in-Chief is in Monaco. The Senior Cataloguer is drafting an objection. The Field Correspondent is, as far as anyone here knows, in a foundry. The catalogue advances regardless, one entry at a time.

If we have done the work, you will laugh once, read three more entries, and then, weeks from now, in a Costco parking lot, watching a Ford F-450 dually negotiate a U-turn, call what you are seeing thiccc, and not be entirely sure why. It is the only review this board has ever cared about.

For the word itself, its definition, etymology, and the reasoning behind the third c, see thiccc, adj.

Bertram Whitmore, Publisher, writing from the Margaret IV. Thiccctionary, Vol. I.