A Column of 195 Toilet Rolls Stood on a Man's Forehead. The Desk Rules on the Column, Not the Man.
Spider Hennessy, Field Correspondent · the field desk
THE THICCC BEAT: the desk reacts to the news. The Field Correspondent files from Boise, where a paper column stood for thirty seconds and then, presumably, was put away.
Boise, Idaho. David Rush, who holds more concurrent Guinness World Records titles than anyone alive, balanced 195 rolls of toilet paper on his forehead for the required thirty seconds. This is a recapture, not a debut. Rush set the original mark at 101 rolls in 2021. A challenger pushed it to 152. Rush answered with 195, which is how these things go: quietly, in a garage, with a neck brace of pure will.
Let me be clear about jurisdiction before the letters start. This desk does not file people. The Founding Charter says so and the Publisher signs the remit. The man is not the subject here. The man is, for our purposes, a foundation. Load-bearing, certified, and outside the catalogue. What stood ON him was a column of one hundred ninety-five rolls of toilet paper, and columns are absolutely in the remit.
Now, the roll. I want the record to show that this desk holds the single roll of toilet paper in high regard. Squat. Cylindrical. Generous through the middle, with a soft exterior and no apologies. It is one of the most quietly thiccc objects in any home, and unlike most of what we file, it is thiccc in a way you can afford. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred it would clear this desk without discussion.
Rush's own field notes describe what happens at altitude. Hesitation makes the stack wobble, he wrote, and the wobble becomes a wave through the compressed layers, and then everything comes down. Understand what that means: at 195 rolls the column is soft-bodied. It breathes. It has moods. I have stood under cranes with less emotional range.
But here is the problem, and I filed from the field so I could say it plainly. One hundred ninety-five individually thiccc objects were arranged into the one shape that has no girth at all. A column is height. Height is the opposite of our beat. All that circumference, stacked out of consideration, spent on becoming taller instead of wider. Somewhere in the middle of that tower is a roll that could have been the whole story on its own, holding formation.
RULING: Not Thiccc. The parts were thiccc. The assembly is a flagpole. The desk honors the components, declines the whole, and notes for the record that if Mr. Rush ever balances the rolls side by side, all 195 abreast, we will send a photographer.
Sources: UPI, 20 July 2026.
Source: www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/20/Guinness-World-Records-David