The Thiccctionary

We've been at this for a week. Seven entries. Already a hierarchy is forming.

Not every thiccc thing is created equal. Some are merely sturdy. Others are foundational. A select few transcend the form entirely, passing through girth and out the other side into something approaching geometry. This is our working ranking, ordered from thiccc to thicccest. It will change as more entries land. It will be wrong. That's the fun.

5. Heritage Tomato

The smallest object on this list, but density counts. Three pounds of one tomato is a structural achievement disguised as produce. Earns its place not for size but for ratio: heft per square inch of skin. Honorable for the way the stem barely keeps up.

4. Ford F-450

The Super Duty earns its name. Dual rear wheels are the most honest design choice in vehicular history, when one axle's worth of contact patch isn't enough, you simply add another. The F-450 is what happens when "pickup truck" stops being a category and starts being an argument.

3. Bulky Refrigerator

Domestic appliances rarely make ranking lists, and that's a failure of the form. The refrigerator's whole job is volume. The thiccc refrigerator is one whose volume has begun to feel intentional rather than functional, where the door takes both hands and the kitchen architecture has to apologize for it.

2. Concrete Mixer

Eight cubic yards of slow-spinning confidence. The mixer is rotational thiccc, a quality almost no other object on this list has. The drum hums when it's full. You can hear weight from a block away. It would have been #1 if not for the next entry.

1. Thiccc Boeing

The 747 is the platonic form. Wide-body, swept tail, a fuselage that earns its diameter. The Boeing 747 is what made wide-body design a household phrase. Photographed tail-toward at golden hour, it does something no terrestrial object can: it casts a shadow you have to walk around.

It's also the only entry on this list whose given name we modified, to thiccc Boeing, with three c's, because some entries demand the spelling.

Honorable mentions

• Mid-Century Armchair, built in an era that took organic form seriously.
• Avocado, Domestic, required a two-handed stretch.

What's coming

The catalog grows daily. Subscribe to the RSS feed or follow @thiccctionary for new entries as they land. We'll revisit this ranking once the archive doubles.