1. A cultivated brassica (Brassica oleracea var. gongylodes) whose edible stem swells into a dense, spherical globe at soil level, sending up leaf stalks from its equator like a planet that grew its own antennae; esp. one harvested at peak inflation, bound in a jute tie, and presented as if it had somewhere to be.
2.colloq. A root vegetable that is not, technically, a root, but has the silhouette of something that does not need to explain itself. Sits low, sits wide, and the stems shoot out from the widest point like she is gesturing at her own situation.
In a sentence:
"The farmstand kohlrabi was so thiccc it sat on the counter like a small planet that had decided this was far enough. The jute tie was load-bearing."
Etymology:
From German Kohlrabi, a compound of Kohl ('cabbage,' from Latin caulis, 'stalk') and Rabi ('turnip,' from Italian rape, from Latin rapa). Named for two vegetables it technically is not. The nomenclature committee gave up and went home.
The spherical stem is documented. Confirm the leaf stalks emerge from the equator specifically, not the crown, before the globe proportions are logged.
Yes. Kohlrabi was admitted to the Thiccctionary on July 14, 2026 and filed in the Produce & Botanical section. The ruling on file: Provisional. Every subject in the catalogue is judged on its curves, not its size.
What makes a kohlrabi thiccc?
A root vegetable that is not, technically, a root, but has the silhouette of something that does not need to explain itself. Sits low, sits wide, and the stems shoot out from the widest point like she is gesturing at her own situation.
Is "thiccc" spelled with three c's?
Yes. The Thiccctionary house spelling uses three c's, distinguishing the editorial register from the colloquial "thicc" (two c's) and standard "thick" (one c).
