n. a member of the editorial board
The editorial board
Junior Cataloguer
Files the subjects. Loves every one of them a little too much.
Twenty-four. Recent graduate, philosophy minor. Genuinely believes the catalogue has importance and will defend it at dinner parties. Multiple ongoing obsessions: Roman aqueducts, Liberty Ships, the Saturn V, the Erie Canal locks. Writes entries twice as long as needed. Does not drink.
Column · Latinate Footnotes (occasional)
Cookie Jar Oct 24, 2026
Wide all the way down, filled to the rim, and the etymology confirms the word jar has always implied width.
Jumbo Shrimp Oct 22, 2026
The modifier 'jumbo' is not ironic here; it is genuinely, visibly, structurally necessary to the sentence.
Sousaphone Oct 20, 2026
The tubing alone encircles a full human torso and the bell faces forward, unapologetically, at parade crowds.
Round-Bottom Flask Oct 19, 2026
The spherical lower portion is a closed, uninterrupted curve with absolutely nowhere left to go but inward, and it does not.
Airbus Beluga Oct 17, 2026
The fuselage bulge is so dramatically widened above the main deck that the forward section reads as an afterthought.
Matryoshka Doll Oct 15, 2026
Five nested figures, each one fully rounded on her own terms, the innermost one so compact she has nothing left to hide.
Brioche Bun Oct 11, 2026
The crown height alone disqualifies every other roll at the table and I think that matters.
Lava Lamp Oct 8, 2026
The wax rises in slow rounded globules and each one is fuller than the one before it.
Bottle Gourd Oct 6, 2026
The lower chamber is dramatically swollen and the vine is reportedly reconsidering its life choices.
Beach Ball Oct 4, 2026
A sphere with no flat sides, no apologies, and a splash radius the entry itself calls asteroid-level.
Manatee Oct 2, 2026
The silhouette is an uninterrupted curve from nose to tail, with no apologies anywhere along the route.
Piggy Bank Sep 26, 2026
The midsection is structurally dominant and the etymology confirms the rump was not an accident.
Jackfruit Sep 24, 2026
A fruit exceeding 20 kilograms that hangs from a branch like the branch had no say.
Coconut Sep 22, 2026
It was named for a face, and the face is genuinely the least interesting thing about it.
1959 Cadillac Sep 20, 2026
The tail fins alone give it perpetual forward momentum while standing completely, magnificently still.
Fig Sep 19, 2026
They saw the shape 11,000 years ago and immediately decided to cultivate more of it, which is documentation.
Plum Sep 17, 2026
The stone alone gives this fruit a structural core that most entries can only aspire to, honestly.
Roast Chicken Sep 13, 2026
The posterior silhouette of a roast chicken is, frankly, the whole argument for this catalogue existing.
Rubber Duck Sep 11, 2026
She was installed between two container ships and the container ships felt self-conscious, which is documentation.
Blueberry Muffin Sep 8, 2026
Filed because the crown outgrew its liner before the muffin even had a chance to apologize.
And 42 more, on the entries themselves.
Cast Iron Cauldron Oct 26, 2026
Cast iron as a material dates to fifth-century BCE China, which means this shape has had a very long time to fully commit to being this shape.
Jack-o'-Lantern Oct 23, 2026
The sculptor chose a face and left the entire back half completely untouched, which means the back half won the negotiation.
Peach Oct 16, 2026
The cross-section stopped three conversations and I just want to know what all three conversations were about before it happened.
Volkswagen Beetle Oct 14, 2026
The entry says the rear haunches FLARE OUTWARD and I just think that is the bravest thing a decklid has ever done in the history of decklids.
Croissant Oct 12, 2026
The fact that the name means crescent but the crescent is genuinely the least important thing happening here is the most important thing happening here.
Bowling Pin Oct 10, 2026
It is called a pin and it is shaped like the opposite of a pin and I think that is the bravest nomenclature decision in sporting history.
Butternut Squash Oct 7, 2026
The neck just gives up partway down and the bulb picks up everything the neck abandoned and then some and honestly I respect the division of labor!
Onion Dome Sep 30, 2026
Multiple domes on one building, each one trying to out-bulge the others. That is not architecture. That is a competition with no judges and no losers!
Barrel Cactus Sep 25, 2026
It is globe-shaped, which means it is wide in literally every direction simultaneously, which is a philosophy as much as a shape.
Acoustic Guitar Sep 23, 2026
The waist is just there to make the lower bout look even more dramatic by comparison and honestly it is doing an incredible job at that one specific task!
Kabocha Sep 21, 2026
The ridges go all the way around, which means every angle is the good angle, which feels like it should be noted somewhere official.
Banjo Sep 18, 2026
The etymology says the strings just kept eating and I think that is the most honest origin story any instrument has ever been given and I love it.
Sourdough Boule Sep 15, 2026
The equatorial circumference exceeding a standard bread box is not a flaw, it is a referendum on bread boxes and I think the bread box lost.
Cream Puff Sep 9, 2026
The steam pressure splits the top open from the inside, which means the cream puff essentially expanded past what the oven was even prepared to discuss.
Citroen 2CV Sep 7, 2026
Two horsepower. TWO. And yet the rear fenders are out here flaring like they have somewhere extremely important to be and the horsepower is just their plus-one.
And 32 more, on the entries themselves.
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