Entry · Wednesday, October 14, 2026
Volkswagen Beetle
/FOHKS-vah-gen BEE-tul/ n.- 1. A compact rear-engined automobile of the Volkswagen marque, characterized by a continuously curved roofline that swells from hood to trunk without a single apology, producing a silhouette that is, in strict geometric terms, an oval on wheels. Esp. notable when observed from behind, where the rear haunches flare outward and the tail rounds off in a manner that automotive engineers technically call 'the decklid' and everyone else calls 'the whole point.'
- 2. colloq. Curves from bumper to bumper, but the back end is where the argument gets settled. She parks in front of a villa and the villa reconsiders its own proportions.
"She spotted a thiccc Volkswagen Beetle parked outside the villa, rear end catching the late-afternoon light, and had to stop and acknowledge it the way you acknowledge a very good sentence. The architecture behind it simply became the background."
From German Volkswagen ('people's car,' from Volk, 'people' + Wagen, 'car') and Käfer ('beetle'), the latter name assigned informally by the press and eventually adopted by the company in 1968. The original 1938 design by Ferdinand Porsche was commissioned by Hitler and refined by time into something nobody associates with that anymore, which is a remarkable arc for a car shaped like a bread roll.
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It is shaped like a loaf of bread that became self-aware and started getting compliments.
Ruling ADMITTED UNDER PROTEST
The continuously curved roofline produces a closed oval with no interruption. I cannot find a break in it. Admitted.
In the margin
The entry says the rear haunches FLARE OUTWARD and I just think that is the bravest thing a decklid has ever done in the history of decklids.