Entry · Sunday, August 16, 2026
Artichoke
/AR-tih-chohk/ n.- 1. A cultivated thistle (Cynara cardunculus var. scolymus) of Mediterranean origin, prized for its edible flower head; specifically, a specimen whose layered, densely packed bracts achieve a silhouette that reads less as vegetable and more as architectural cross-section.
- 2. colloq. The produce aisle's most structurally committed offering. Layer after layer of overlapping, curved bracts, each one flared outward from the base, giving the whole assembly a profile that a botanist would call 'involucrate' and everyone else would call a lot to take in. Viewed from the stem end, she is all circumference.
In a sentence:
"The farmers' market in Montecito set out a crate of thiccc artichokes, each one wider at the hip than a regulation softball. The crate sold out before the sign was finished."
Etymology:
From Italian articiocco, from Old Spanish alcarchofa, from Arabic al-kharshūf. The Arabic root likely traces to a North African dialect term for the plant's spiny head. Centuries of linguistic refinement, and not one of those languages thought to mention the girth.
Filed by
Each bract is load-bearing, the layering is relentless, and the silhouette has absolutely no interest in apologizing for itself.
Ruling ADMITTED
It is a flower head, not a hip. The distinction is botanical. The argument is structural. Admitted.