Foods of Substance
15 catalogued entries
Prepared food is the most contested category in the archive and the subject of a standing internal objection, which the reader may consult in the essay on the problem of edible thiccc. The difficulty is that food is designed to be consumed, and an object in the process of being eaten is an object losing girth. The editors have ruled that the catalogued state is the served state. The ruling is not universally accepted at this masthead.
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Titan, Jumbo Shrimp
A species of marine crustacean celebrated for its formidable dimensions and noteworthy heft, particularly when arrayed on a platter with a…
2026-08-23 -
Roast, Prime Rib
A culinary indulgence distinguished by its substantial mass and robust marbling, typically served in a style that invites admiration from across the…
2026-08-13 -
Pizza, Deep Dish
A culinary construct of formidable depth, characterized by a thick crust that forms a vessel for an abundance of toppings; esp.
2026-08-01 -
Loaf, Meatloaf
A culinary entity of formidable density, characterized by its homogenous composition and substantial profile, typically cloaked in a glaze of…
2026-07-25 -
Sundae, Banana Split
A decadent dessert of substantial dimensions, characterized by a trio of scoops nestled between halves of a ripe banana, often further adorned with…
2026-07-19 -
Cake, Wedding Three-Tier
A confectionary monument of stacked indulgence, typically composed of three graduated layers, each encased in fondant and supported by internal…
2026-07-16 -
Roll, Cinnamon Bun Oversized
A culinary creation of astonishing depth, characterized by a warm spiral of dough that exceeds standard plate dimensions; esp.
2026-07-15 -
Bread, Sourdough Round
A leavened bakery product of notable circumference, characterized by its robust crust and chewy interior, usually presented as a complete spherical…
2026-07-07 -
Cheesecake, New York
A dessert of substantial density, often baked to achieve a firm yet yielding texture; particularly noted for the application of a fruit topping that…
2026-06-20 -
Bratwurst, Coiled
A spiral-shaped sausage of culinary girth, characterized by its dense and continuous form, often presented in a manner that challenges conventional…
2026-06-17 -
Donut, Boston Cream
A sweet, glorious torus filled with custard and topped with a glossy chocolate glaze, notable for its unapologetic girth.
2026-06-14 -
Hamburger, Triple-Stack
A burger configuration featuring three beef patties layered with cheese and condiments, renowned for its formidable verticality and gravitational…
2026-06-11 -
Bagel, Everything
A circular bread product adorned with a generous and heterogeneous array of toppings, identifiable by its buoyant midsection and robust crust…
2026-06-08 -
Wheel, Parmigiano-Reggiano
A cylindrical mass of aged cheese, notable for its robust curvature and dense, granular interior; often showcased in markets and delicatessens…
2026-05-06 -
Stack, Pancakes Diner
A multi-layered assembly of pancakes, each disk contributing to a cumulative profile of impressive verticality and surface area, found predominantly…
2026-04-20