Entry · Sunday, August 9, 2026
African Elephant
/AF-ri-kan EL-uh-funt/ n.- 1. The largest land animal currently operating on Earth, distinguished by a posterior of such lateral authority that it displaces water, mud, and the personal confidence of nearby observers simply by proceeding forward; esp. one photographed mid-wade, haunches above the waterline, where the full engineering of the hindquarters becomes unavoidable.
- 2. colloq. Built from the back end out. Whatever is happening behind the shoulder blades is the whole conversation, and the trunk is just a footnote.
"The wildlife photographer framing a thiccc African elephant mid-river had composed the shot as a landscape and ended up with a portrait. The rear half filled the frame without being asked."
From Latin elephantus, from Greek elephas (ivory; elephant), possibly of Semitic or Egyptian origin, cognate with the ancient word for the tusks rather than the animal carrying them. Taxonomically Loxodonta africana, from Greek loxos (oblique) and odous (tooth), named for the shape of the molars. Nobody named it for the shape of anything else, which, in hindsight, was an oversight.
Filed by
The rear half filled the frame without being asked, and I think that is a complete argument.
Ruling ADMITTED UNDER PROTEST
Named for the tooth. The hindquarters are undocumented by taxonomy and overrepresented by every other available metric. Admitted on the visual record alone.
In the margin
The photographer composed a landscape. The elephant submitted a portrait. At a certain point the subject is running the shoot.