Entry · Wednesday, August 19, 2026
Plate LXXXIII. Variety of empanadas on a wooden board with dipping sauces.
Photo by WØM | Creative Studio on Unsplash
Empanada
/em-pah-NAH-dah/ n.- 1. A hand-formed pastry of Iberian and Latin American origin, characterized by a filling-to-crust ratio that does not invite moderation; esp. one whose midsection has risen to a profile that casts its own shadow on a wooden board.
- 2. colloq. Pocket bread that went through a phase and never came back. The seam is structural. The curve is load-bearing.
"A board of thiccc empanadas was set out in Tucson at noon and by 12:04 the dipping sauces were irrelevant. Nobody came for the sauces."
From Spanish empanar, 'to coat in bread,' from pan, 'bread,' from Latin panis. The suffix implies enclosure. The finished product implies ambition. The two have never been reconciled.
Filed by
The midsection casts its own shadow on a wooden board and I will not be elaborating further.
Ruling ADMITTED UNDER PROTEST
The risen profile and the shadow it casts on a flat surface constitute a geometric argument. The dipping sauces are not part of that argument.
In the margin
The fact that the enclosure is supposed to be the whole point and the filling simply declined to be enclosed is honestly the most beautiful thing bread has ever done.