Entry · Saturday, August 15, 2026
Bell Pepper
/BEL pep-ur/ n.- 1. A hollow, lobed fruit of Capsicum annuum, characterized by a pronounced equatorial swell, a four-chambered interior of structural ambition, and a shoulder-to-hip ratio that botanists have agreed not to discuss at conferences.
- 2. colloq. Stacked in a crate or piled on a plate, the bell pepper presents a silhouette that can only be described as architectural: wide at the base, wider at the thought, and absolutely committed to its own geometry. She does not taper. She broadens.
"The farmers market vendor at the Ferry Building stacked a pyramid of thiccc red bell peppers so bottom-heavy it had its own gravitational pull. The jalapeños nearby looked like they were reconsidering their career choices."
From Medieval Latin piper (pepper, spice), via Old English pipor, ultimately from Sanskrit pippali (long pepper). The 'bell' descriptor entered English in the late 19th century, a reference to the fruit's shape, which is, on reflection, the most understated thing anyone has ever said about it.
Filed by
Four chambers, a pronounced equatorial swell, and botanists have agreed not to discuss it at conferences.
Ruling ADMITTED ON APPEAL
The four-chambered interior and equatorial swell constitute a structural argument. The jalapeños reconsidering their careers is color commentary and does not belong in the record.
In the margin
The shoulder-to-hip ratio on a fruit that is technically a vegetable to most people is genuinely one of the most generous misclassifications in all of produce.
The bell descriptor entered English in the late nineteenth century. It is the most understated thing anyone has ever said.